The Universe

I think the universe is taking care of me.
I need to remember to just let go, and have faith that things will work out as they should

I've been feeling like this mainly because I am so happy with being busy studying heme/onc (and doing well so far) but also happy from talking with WI! I get to study all I want but I still get to talk to a guy who makes me happy. I'm happy to have a great guy who i get to see soon but sometimes it's difficult to be apart. but it allows me/us to focus on achieving our own personal goals. It allows me to completely focus on medical school (and he's reeeeally good about knowing that school comes first), so I get to be the best med student I can be. But I find myself looking forward to talking with him or getting a text from him that just makes me smile...so my world is supporting me right now.

I'm really loving heme/onc block. It's super interesting to me and has me thinking that doing a peds heme/onc rotation would be fun during 4th year. I just don't know if I could survive/love the clinical side of this specialty... But I'm loving heme/onc soo much that when our professor asked us to research the reasoning behind a phlebotomy treatment for the treatment of Porphyria Cutanae Tarda, it peeked my interest. I found out that releasing blood in turn lowers the iron levels which helps because the enzyme, urophoryprinogen decarboxylase (UROD) is inhibited by iron. So by decreasing blood levels, the enzyme can return to functioning at a normal level and the porphyria pathway can continue, thus allowing heme production and RBC production to continue. This clears up the cutaneous symptoms of PCT! ta-dah!
Yup, I so impressed the professor with the research behind my answer ( I literally found an old article & copy/pasted the source that listed additional source with articles that tested phlebotomy vs iron-chelating therapies)....that he gave me $20!! He said that I was the nerdest medical student (but a kindred soul in heme?) hahaha! I was congratulated the rest of the day by my fellow med students for winning the prize out of the 11 of the 150-something students in our class!

Also, I performed my first female genital exam & fake pap smear yesterday! It wasn't so bad and actually interesting to see/feel a cervix for the first time. It was really intersting that I immediately started talking to the SP completely comfortably...like I was in an actual clinic and had no problem talking with the patient (yay! thank you summer clinic work!). The standardized patient even said I did "great"!


i want one these for my trip to Wisconsin.

i was thinking, it would be great to be able to share my life, share my day with someone. But then I realized I do! I do with Giulia at our house & my classmates at school. I get to talk with my family & WI. And if I need a little extra cuddling, claudia & eddie do just fine.

That's probably an example of how I have just been thinking differently lately. I'm not preoccupied with dating or guys anymore. I'm completely happy with talking to WI and studying. I love it!!!!! It's the first time that I've ever felt my mind calm down. Maybe that's because I know I have a 10 in my personal life & i'm doing excellent in my academic life? :)

Oh and apparently there was a real physical reason I was craving chocolate. haha!

I love chocolate.

So I've been eating a lot of chocolate these days....today.
I'm eating chocolate because it's easy to sneak into the lecture hall (where you're not suppose to eat anything) and perfect for those times when I get so bored of learning about important things like antineoplastics and reticulocytes & my mind starts to wander...chocolate is my substitute for other distracting cravings. like making out with that cute guy in the hat over there. yeah, those kinds of cravings.

I'm trying to behave myself lately for two reasons.
One, I'm technically single but I met this really great guy in Ecuador (he's from WI) and I'm still talking to him. He's basically the most genuinely good guy I know. Oh and he's really funny & really attractive. He's pretty much everything that I 've been looking for in a guy: confident, funny, intelligent, good-looking, hard-working, loves dogs, likes actually getting to know each other -just talking, dependable, sweet yet wild, attentive & likes to cuddle! I mean come on. The only thing is he happens to live over 1,000 miles away. It's so not fair. And I'll be flying out to WI to see him in Septemember...so even though we aren't officially dating, we have been texting & talking to each other every day. So I feel like if you have someone that awesome, you should just appreciate that.
Two, since I am single, I've been trying to decide what this means for myself. Should I be dating and hanging out with guys just to have contact & that kinda interaction even if it doesn't lead to a relationship (or that I don't want a relationship with someone) until I meet someone (like WI) who I truly want a relationship with? Or should I be keeping to myself, not taking part in any kind of physical contact until I'm in a solid relationship again? Also, what as a Catholic should I do?

....ahhhhh! and then part of me just says stop worrying! worrying does no good. So for now, I'm just eating lots of chocolate. And going on lots of runs because of aforementioned chocolate.

Check out these other things that also entertained me when I should have otherwise been paying attention to lecture:

Scratch off map
summer lasagne

Spaghetti Lobster Monsters

....that's why I love giulia. i write spaghetti lobsters and she adds monsters!

Because I treat this blog as my journal, I feel the need to make a note of this time in my mentality so that my future self can remember when my thinking took a notable change.
If that makes any sense at all, sorry self.

On our Texas road trip, Giulia & I stopped by to see a certain pair of M3s in Austin. One of them is super nice (& just happens to be really cute) but really he's genuinely nice (& one of my roommates may have had a lil' crush on him). The other M3 was, well broccoli, as surprises just about nobody at this point I'm sure.
So we knocked on their door & broccoli answers it, without a shirt on...which is typical (but left Giulia asking herself "who do you think you are?!" hahah!)
But nothing happened & I thanked goodness for that. The funny thing was, he was just very nice the whole time. And I was physically ill the whole time. haha I told my roomies, I think this is a sign, you shouldn't hang around someone who makes you literally sick to your stomach! Giulia called it anxiety.

After having a picnic at the capital and hunting down the elusive McKinney Park waterfall(s), we made it to San Antone. And after hanging out for a bit, giules left back up I-35 and I hung out at home. Until Saturday. Because I couldn't leave good enough alone. I visited BookPeople (an amazing bookstore) and ended up partying on 6th street again. And I ran into broccoli. And we had a good time but I walked away knowing that I had him completely out of my system now. We were still attracted to each other but I didn't feel like he was impossibly, devilishly attractive (like I used to)...it was so much better when we actually cared for each other. This time, it felt like we were both kinda over each other. He's just not always so nice in his attitude towards me...which makes me feel like I have to be simultaneously perfect & on the defense the whole time, which is super lame. I want to be with someone who enjoys being with me, just to be with me! And I want someone who is a genuine good guy! And I happily know this is possible now after meeting Wisconsin :)

so for the next five weeks, i'll be counting down & working my lil' rear-end off through hematology/oncology block until I get to jump on a plane to the badger state! After watching Sleepless in Seattle today, I have to admit I've entertained an idea or two about Wisconsin but I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground...at least one foot.

But I have no desire to get back to CS and mingle with the M1s. Instead I'm looking forward to hanging out with this cutie...here's another reason why i love my roomie...she adopted Eddie, the cutest grass-hopping dachshund in Texas! He's the new love in my life, right now.

August 6th

home sweet home

today was a wonderful day at home!
This morning started with potatoe & egg breakfast tacos & coffee from Taco Cabana with my mom. Then picked up my grandma, Ba and went shopping for my lil' sister's surprise replacement watch & I ended up getting a Fossil watch that I thought would be my Christmas present. Then I met Giulia at a spa and chatted with her at her appointment until she finished. Then we went to my house where we painted our nails & sun-bathed by the pool! Then I went shopping with my mom for a bathroom rug for my very own bathroom! Afterwards, we got ice cream & watched Eclipse! (so good! and Jacob is much cuter!) And then, we met my dad for a delicious steak dinner at the roadhouse with a very cute waiter. And now I'm laying bed because I didn't get much sleep last night! woo! a day full of running around but also a day of relax & recharging, spent with some of my favorite ladies! It was great just hanging out with my mom and Ba.

I'm the proud new owner of this cute watch


Dinner with the rents


And a beautiful, wide-open Texas sky to finish it off!

What a great day in San Antone!

A Cross-Texas Adventure

Today I was home sweet home for the first time in a week!

Giulia & I ended our cross Texas adventure with our last stop in San Antonio. We got in last night and each had dinner with our families. Then we caught a midnight showing of "The Other Guys". And we even managed to squeeze in a bit of nail painting & sun bathing time before she left for Dallas today.
It was a great trip & I'm so glad we did it. It was all about freedom and being able to do whatever we wanted to do, without any time limits or responsibilities to answer to! Here are a few pictures from our week-long trek across Tejas:

Sprinkles, the amazingly good cupcake store!


Giulia, me & the lovely Miss Natalie




The new love in my life, Eddie


Friends in College Station!


IKEA!

Tourist

I'm in Dallas, living it up as a tourist. I've loved hanging out with Giulia & seeing dallas but all today, I've been a little preoccupied....I just did something crazy. I bought airplane tickets to go to WI and see a boy i met in Ecuador. I kinda call him a boy here because he's a year younger than me & goes out to the bars with his friends a lot but he's a senior in undergrad still. But in reality, I liked him because of his good character, how intelligent he is (& maybe that great smile and those blue eyes and muscles).... 
I just bought those tickets but I scared. I don't know what to expect when I go up there but what I'm really thinking about is how much I want to have a significant other. 
I'm scared because I don't know what things are between me & Jimmy, and I really want someone good like him (or him but he lives in Wisconsin...). I'm scared because for some reason I want to stop by & see someone in RR when we go thru Austin. Even though I know he's no good for me & it would never work out & he doesn't deserve my company with the way he sometimes treated me before...when we broke up, he said that we could date again when he moved to RR & I guess on some level part of me is waiting to see what happens to that. Even though, if he couldn't make time for me before when we lived in the same city, why would he travel 2 hrs to see me now? and really, I don't want him back. I want someone better than that. But what I do want is to feel loved again, like I did when I was with him... But I do trust WI more than I ever did trust RR. I just wonder if things could work out between TX & WI? Or what "work out" would even mean to me. All I know is I'm excited to go to WI and just enjoy hanging out. No matter what happens, it'll be an adventure! Oh the places you'll go! Oh the things you do for love.