okay sooo I need to dumb my brain somewhere, so here it goes...
I dislike even thinking about brains right now and even just typing the word "brain" is painful and elicits flashing images the post-central gyrus...no me gusta ahora.
So instead of studying (taking a small dinner break), I just cooked myself a fresh batch of farafalle with sun-dried tomato alfredo sauce :) yum. oh and a sip of pinot grigio. just a sip. i swear i'm not an alcoholic but in medical school you just need a little something to take off the edge of stressing every now and then. and i'm stressed. about this test. about boys. about how i shouldnt me stressed about boys because thats silly.
When i got out of our practice practical exam, I wanted nothing to do more than have a picnic and lay out in the sun in the middle of a field with a certain cute guy who lately i happen to being studying around (ie sitting in the vicinity of! haha). I'm pretty sure he kinda likes me too but isn't looking for a relationship more than to just survive medical school. and so I'm happy with funny conversations with him and dancing with samir and having dinners with erick. at least most of the time i'm happy with that. until i walk around on campus and it seems like EVERYONE has someone...sigh. sometimes its hard to be patient to wait for that special someone who will bring an end to my dating days.
but i've just got to survive these nine weeks. then erick will move to round rock in june and i wont see anyone else till august.
there is pollen flying into my alfredo :( haha but it's beautiful outside so i dont care! (i'm eating on our patio)
But something i've noticed lately...in medical school everyone is selfish. my roomie, Giulia and I started this conversation in regards to guys our age. it went something like "we are amazing women! cant men see this?? we are catches! what's wrong with them? why dont we have dates to cadaver ball? seriously?!...well thats because men our age are oblivious. and immature. and selfish. ...so recently i've expanded this idea to everyone in medical school. we all have strong personalities and are all putting medical school first. it's a survival technique.
I've become more selfish. i dont like it but its definitely about growing a tougher skin. and surviving medical school. i put my study time above hanging out with anyone. above anything else. so that i can do well....i do this because everyone else does and because i actually would like to do well in medical school. haha
But i've found that instead of having a picnic with a certain cute guy, I am waay happy just sitting outside on my patio, eating pasta with a sip of pinot grigio and relaxing. i love blue skies. soon i'll be back up at school and it will be a little bit more bearable- just gotta make it till thursday! wish me luck on neuro!
p.s. there's definitely a bug in my pasta. yuck. going to make smores now :)
p.s.s. i cant wait to go home this weekend. & chocolate is a girl's best friend. at least when she can't eat ice cream 'till Sunday. life is good.
